• Wow, how long has it been since I actually wrote something on here? The start of August – incredible. I can only apologise. I’ve had so much going on, and I’m going to use the blog as a place to just talk about some things. Probably, nobody will read – but I’m fine with that.

    So what’s happened since August? Let me start with the  biggest thing – my nanna died just over three weeks ago. She’s been suffering from cancer for about three years, and she’s been an incredible inspiration as she’s gone through three lots of chemotherapy. We knew it had come back, but she’d been so physically frail for most of 2010, and I don’t think she would have been able to go through that again. So in that respect, it was expected – but it just all seemed to happen so quickly. I came back to university at the end of September, and while I knew she wasn’t well – and she wasn’t at this stage – I didn’t even imagine she would deteriorate as quickly as she did. Luckily, I was able to go back home to see her a couple of times before she passed away peacefully at home. It was incredibly saddening for me – I was home quite a lot in the first few weeks for one reason or another, but in the space of just over a week it was just horrible to see. She wasn’t in any pain until the very end really, and the last time I saw her she just wanted to go to sleep. She wasn’t afraid of dying, and like I said, she has been such an inspiration and the way she fought with cancer and other things over the last few years has been amazing.

    The funeral was really sad for everybody, but she wrote down exactly what she wanted and I know she would have loved it. I got pretty upset at the crematorium, but that was when she was really gone. Her death has brought the family even closer together than we already are, and that is so much a credit to both her and my grandad. I still haven’t really accepted it, I don’t think. Being back at uni, I feel away from it all. Last year I went weeks without seeing her – so I think deep down I just don’t want to think that anything’s changed. I’m counting away the weeks until Christmas though, and although it will undoubtedly be strange and sad, I will just take comfort from being with my family. My girlfriend and my friends have been so supportive throughout everything that has happened but nothing beats being with your family, especially when you’ve got such a fantastic family as I have.

    So yeah – possibly the deepest I’ve ever gone on Thinktank. But I just need to get some things off my mind, and well, this is the perfect place to do it. Nobody really reads, but it’s out there. Not spoken, because if I said the things I’ve just typed I’d probably burst into tears.

    As I said, I’m back at uni now – but it’s all been a bit of a blur so far, my feet haven’t really touched the floor here. I’m finally starting to feel settled here, which has been a weird experience for me. Last year, I took to it like a duck to water, and I remember feeling at home straight away. I think it’s purely the fact that I’ve been back and forth on the train so much I haven’t really had to settle. I’m in a house with seven of my friends, and it’s going really well so far. I don’t know where the hell I’m going to live next year, or even who with, but hopefully they will sort themselves out. I can’t deal with the stress of it, at least not at the moment. I’m doing so much academic reading that I’m actually surprising myself, but it all has to be done. And I’m looking forward to getting started on a project about my hometown which I should probably have already started…but hey, such is life.

    Probably one of the reasons I haven’t been doing much work is because I’ve become addicted to the Big Bang Theory. This sounds like I’ve just discovered it – I’ve loved it since the first season pretty much – but I just find myself watching it all the time. Sheldon is the best character on a comedy series ever, without a doubt. Not really digging Amy this season though, but we’ll see where that goes. I think my re-watching might have something to do with me not really getting into any new series after Lost and Ugly Betty (the shame) finished in the summer. I’ve tried the Event but I’m just not really getting into it – it seems like Flashforward all over again, where you invest time in it and it just gets cancelled. I’m also rewatching Lost season one with the girlfriend because she’s never seen it, shame on her. I doubt she’ll get past the first series so I’ll probably go through the rest of the series when we’re finished – it really wouldn’t surprise me. Looking forward to rewatching season six when I hopefully get the boxset for Christmas, along with literally a pile of other DVDs I want. Not very original of me.

    Musically, I’ve become addicted to the soul-man that is Cee-Lo Green. Literally every single song I hear of his actually blows his last one out the water – first Fuck You, then It’s OK, then just yesterday Georgia. I’m sure I’ll have to give the album a listen when it comes onto Spotify. Just heard a beautiful cover of Your Song by Ellie Goulding that I’m loving too, and soon enough it’ll be time for me to drop the alternative Christmas music that I discovered probably on the 23rd December last year. Subtly remixed jazz is good for me.

    That’s probably enough for now. I wanted an update to plug the gap and stop the rot, but I ended up writing some stuff that I really wanted to get off my chest. Until next time.

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  • Aw man I’m so sorry about your nan. and somebody reads this this :)

    ...Mike on
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Hello my name is Andy.

I am a twenty-one year old student from Liverpool, UK.
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